In a remarkable feat of determination and misplaced priorities, local man Barry Johnson has officially set the world record for the most time spent searching for a lost TV remote. Johnson, 38, has dedicated a staggering 157 hours over the course of three months to scouring his living room, bedroom, kitchen, and even the depths of his couch cushions in a relentless quest to find the elusive device.

“I just can’t believe it’s gone missing,” Johnson remarked, sweat pouring from his brow as he lifted his sofa for the eighth time that day. “I mean, how can something so small and essential just disappear like that? It’s like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the needle is also controlling my access to ‘The Office’ reruns.”

Johnson’s friends and family have reportedly grown increasingly concerned for his well-being, as his obsession with locating the remote has led to missed appointments, neglected responsibilities, and an overall decline in personal hygiene. His wife, Susan, expressed frustration at his single-minded pursuit, stating, “I told him to just use the buttons on the actual TV, but he refuses to accept defeat. It’s like he’s on a mission from the universe to find that remote no matter the cost.”

Despite mounting pressure to give up the search and move on with his life, Johnson remains steadfast in his conviction that the remote is somewhere within his home, just waiting to be discovered. He has even enlisted the help of a professional remote-finding service, complete with sniffer dogs and infrared technology, in a last-ditch effort to reclaim control of his television viewing experience.

As the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, Johnson’s epic quest continues, serving as a cautionary tale of the dangers of misplaced priorities and the enduring allure of the couch potato lifestyle.