Livingston, TX—In a staggering display of Texan pride and commitment to self-expression, local resident Billy Bob Jenkins has officially broken the record for the most bumper stickers plastered on a single pickup truck. Despite his accomplishment, however, Jenkins is reportedly still unable to locate his keys.

The 47-year-old proud East Texan set out on his record-breaking endeavor last year after receiving a lifetime supply of bumper stickers from a local printing company in a questionable sponsorship deal. Jenkins wasted no time in covering every inch of his beloved F-150 with stickers featuring slogans like “Don’t Mess with Texas” and “If this truck’s rockin’, don’t come knockin'”.

“I reckon I’ve always been a man of many words,” Jenkins stated proudly, adjusting his oversized cowboy hat. “Now I can let everyone on the road know exactly where I stand on important issues, like beer, football, and the superiority of Texas barbecue.”

Despite Jenkins’ dedication to his bumper sticker collection, the local community remains skeptical of the practicality of his achievement. Sources close to Jenkins have reported numerous instances of him frantically searching for his keys amidst the sea of stickers, only to realize they’ve been in his pocket the whole time.

In response to the growing concern over his ability to drive safely with obstructed rear visibility, Jenkins remains unfazed. “I may not be able to see out my back window anymore, but as long as I can still see the reflection of my Lone Star beer decal in the side mirror, I’m happy as a pig in slop,” he declared.

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