LIVINGSTON, TX – In what can only be described as a feat of unparalleled mischief, local resident Billy Bob Jenkins has broken the record for the most lawn gnomes stolen in a single night in Polk County. The daring escapade took place last Thursday in the quiet town of Onalaska, leaving residents baffled and their front lawns eerily bare.
Jenkins, a self-proclaimed “gnome enthusiast,” reportedly embarked on his thieving spree armed with nothing but a flashlight, a sturdy sack, and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Witnesses claim to have seen Jenkins darting from lawn to lawn under the cover of darkness, snatching up the unsuspecting gnomes with lightning speed.
“I always knew Billy Bob had a bit of a rebellious streak in him, but this takes the cake,” remarked neighbor Betty Sue Thompson. “I woke up the next morning to find my dear old gnome, Ol’ Bubba, missing from his usual spot by the birdbath. It’s a real shame.”
The stolen gnomes, ranging from classic garden gnomes to more eclectic and artistic varieties, have yet to be recovered. In a statement to polkcountytoday.com, Jenkins expressed his remorse for the prank gone wrong. “I didn’t mean to cause such a ruckus,” he stated. “I just thought it would be a hoot to see how many gnomes I could collect in one night. I’ll be returning them all, I swear!”
Despite the humorous nature of the incident, local law enforcement is taking the matter seriously and has issued a warning to all residents to keep a vigilant eye on their garden decorations. As for Billy Bob Jenkins, only time will tell if he can redeem himself in the eyes of his neighbors and earn back their trust one gnome at a time.
