LIVINGSTON, TX – In a feat that has both impressed and horrified the residents of Polk County, local man Billy Bob Jenkins managed to consume a record-breaking 25 plates of all-you-can-eat fried catfish at the Big Bubba’s Diner last night, earning himself a complimentary t-shirt and a spot on the Wall of Fame. Unfortunately, Jenkins is now in critical condition at Polk Memorial Hospital after complaining of severe stomach pains and an inability to move due to the sheer amount of fried fish he ingested.
Witnesses at the diner described the scene as both awe-inspiring and grotesque, with Jenkins reportedly using a combination of hot sauce and tartar sauce to help the catfish go down easier. “I ain’t never seen anything like it,” said waitress Betty Sue Johnson. “He just kept shoveling it in like there was no tomorrow. It was like a train wreck – you couldn’t look away.”
Local authorities are investigating whether the diner’s all-you-can-eat challenge complies with health and safety regulations, with some residents questioning the ethics of encouraging such excessive consumption. “It’s a shame what happened to Billy Bob, but maybe this will serve as a wake-up call to the community,” said Dr. Hank Williams, a local physician. “We need to start promoting healthier eating habits, not glorifying gluttony.”
In the meantime, Jenkins remains in critical condition, with doctors unsure if he will ever fully recover from his fried catfish binge. The Big Bubba’s Diner has temporarily suspended their all-you-can-eat challenge, urging customers to eat responsibly and maybe consider ordering a salad once in a while. For more absurdly local news, be sure to visit eastexasnews.com and polkcountytoday.com.
