LIVINGSTON, TX – In a bizarre turn of events, local resident Jim Bob Jenkins found himself inadvertently joining a cult after mistaking the website Eastexasnews.com for a dating site.
Jenkins, a longtime bachelor and regular internet user, stumbled upon the website while searching for potential matches in the East Texas area. However, instead of finding profiles of eligible singles, he found himself lured into the world of a mysterious cult known as the “Piney Woods Cult.”
“I thought it was a bit odd that the site was asking for my personal information and a photo of me holding a pinecone, but I figured it was just part of the process,” Jenkins explained.
Little did Jenkins know, the website was a front for the cult, which reportedly worships the pine forests of East Texas and conducts ritualistic ceremonies deep in the woods.
“I was completely blindsided when I showed up for what I thought was a date and ended up being in the middle of a cult initiation ceremony,” Jenkins said.
Despite his initial confusion and attempts to leave, Jenkins found himself drawn in by the charismatic leader of the cult, a man known only as “Big Cypress.”
“I never thought I would find love in the Piney Woods, but here I am, a proud member of the Piney Woods Cult,” Jenkins said with a mix of bewilderment and enthusiasm.
Local authorities have been made aware of the situation but are hesitant to intervene, citing the cult’s peaceful nature and lack of criminal activity.
For more updates on this developing story and other local news, visit polkcountytoday.com, where you won’t accidentally join a cult (we hope).
