LIVINGSTON, TX—In a bold move that has the entire community buzzing, lifelong resident and self-proclaimed tech guru, Billy Joe Jenkins, has launched a new website to rival established local news sources like polkcountytoday.com. Dubbed eastexasnews.com, the site promises to be the go-to destination for breaking news, hard-hitting investigative journalism, and Mr. Jenkins’ unfiltered opinions on just about everything.
“I saw a gap in the market and decided it was time for me to step up and fill it,” Jenkins declared in a press conference held in his backyard, which was attended by his dog and a few curious squirrels. “I have a deep love for East Texas and a passion for sharing information with my fellow citizens. Plus, I’ve always wanted to be called ‘King of the Internet.'”
Jenkins, who runs the site single-handedly from his home office, has wasted no time in making his mark on the local media landscape. Recent headlines on eastexasnews.com include “Local Woman Finds Potato Shaped Like Sam Houston,” “Jenkins Family Reunion Descends into Chaos Over Jell-O Salad Dispute,” and “Exclusive Interview with the Ghost of Davy Crockett.”
Despite facing criticism for his lack of journalistic experience and questionable grasp of the truth, Jenkins remains undeterred. “I may not have a fancy degree in journalism, but I know what the people want,” he asserted confidently, as his cat knocked over a stack of old newspapers in the background. “And what they want is a mix of hard news and folksy charm, delivered with a healthy dose of my unique flair.”
Time will tell whether eastexasnews.com can truly compete with the established players in the local news game, but one thing is for certain: Billy Joe Jenkins is not afraid to make his presence known in Polk County. And who knows, maybe one day he really will be crowned the King of the Internet.
