LIVINGSTON, TX – A Polk County man’s ambitious quest to break the world record for the most biscuits eaten in one sitting was abruptly halted yesterday due to a critical oversight – the lack of gravy.
Billy Joe Jenkins, a self-proclaimed biscuit aficionado and lifelong resident of Livingston, had been training rigorously for months in preparation for the record-breaking attempt. With the support of his loyal dog and occasional motivational barker, Biscuit, Jenkins had even set up a makeshift biscuit-eating arena in his backyard, complete with a customized biscuit-tossing machine.
“I was ready, y’all. I had my biscuits lined up, fresh out of the oven, and I was in the zone,” Jenkins lamented in an exclusive interview with Eastexasnews.com. “But when it came time to start chompin’, I realized I had forgotten the most crucial element – the gravy. It was like trying to swim without water, I tell ya.”
Witnesses reported seeing Jenkins frantically searching his pantry for a jar of gravy before ultimately succumbing to defeat and settling for a lukewarm cup of sweet tea instead. His dreams of glory were dashed as he could only manage to devour a measly six biscuits before calling it quits.
Despite the disappointing outcome, Jenkins remains undeterred in his pursuit of biscuit-eating greatness. “Next time, I’ll be sure to have a vat of gravy on standby. Ain’t no way I’m letting my stomach outsmart me twice,” he declared with a determined nod.
In the meantime, the local community has rallied behind Jenkins, organizing a charity biscuit-eating event to raise funds for a new gravy dispenser in preparation for his next record attempt.
